Saturday, June 11, 2011

Preggers or not, that is the question!

So here I am after many months of nothing, I'm just not a big time blogger.

I've thought about having another child, but it was just a thought, not something planned.  It seems, or so I think, that someone else has other plans!  I'm never late, the damn thing is like clockwork, but it could just be late, right?
I'm just gonna grab a home test this evening and I guess that'll tell me yes or no... when it says yes, that's the scary part!
I am extremely nervous and a little bit frightened that it will be another special needs baby.  I don't mind having a baby, that part is fine, it's just worrying about how he or she will be.  I had an extremely wonderful pregnancy my first time around.  I still can't help but think I did something wrong.  I ate the wrong thing, I had a cup of coffee when I shouldn't have.  It's beyond scary.  I'm fairly sure my husband is less than thrilled, I can't read him, he hides his thoughts. 

On top of it, I'm fairly sure we'll be looking for a new place, I don't mind, we could use a bigger house and I guess a bigger yard.  This has already been talked about long before the thoughts of being pregnant.  Of course, money is the constant nagging thing that keeps us back from what we would like, I had wanted to get a part time job, I'm not so sure I will be able to do that now.

I was just getting ready to have a huge yard sale to get rid of all my old baby gear, isn't it funny how that happens?  Even better, I'll end up keeping it and it will be a girl? lol!  Doubtful, but isn't that how this works? hehehe

I'm not even sure why I am writing this, it will change nothing, but I guess it helps to get out feelings.  Nobody reads this thing anyhow! lol


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